legal judicial question?

I had a bit of an unfortunate scuffle with a friend a few weeks ago, he turned on me and we were both drunk and he ordered me out the house for no other reason than he was drunk and chose to be deliberately awkward. He then assaulted me without leaving a mark and in self defence I bit him, he subsequently got me arrested for abh, the little grassing basket. Quite deservedly his TV got broken in the scuffle, also before that his computer stopped loading up windows, earlier in the day I said, Idd bring a copy of XP round so he could reload it. The law say Im perverting the course of justice if I contact him. But Ive thought up a slightly mad, but idea that I think could work and he might hopefully see it in its funny and humourous light, I send him a back up copy of Windows XP, then he know I sent it, but with a letter as follows. Enclosedideth by almighty god, who art in heaven, is a free copy of windows XP, so as thou may fixeth your computer, the lord has another free gift which shalt bringeth thee light, sound and vision into your life. (namely a spare TV Ive got in me room) the lord will also offer thou friendships in life ( meaning I will later shake hands and make up with him), but first you must forgive all those who have tresspassed against you and then in turn the lord shalt offerith thou total and unconditional forgiveness, ( meaning drop the charge and all is forgiven) as the letter does not poport to come from me, I assume there would not be sufficient evidence to do me for PTCOJ, would I be correct in thinking this, would I be safe as long as I wore gloves when typing out the letter and making the CD etc. And do you think it would work?
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You have been told not to have any contact with the "witness " in this case .It is good advice .The advice is to prevent you doing anything that might be conceived by your "friend " as trying to convince him to change his mind by any form of pressure ..Dont try and be clever ,perverting the course of justice is a very serious offence , for which you would be dealt with at Crown Court .Normally more serious than the offence which you are being dealt with .
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