funny jokes part 3?

Three blond friends died together. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about. The first blond said, Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey. No said St. Peter. You don't get in. The second blond said, Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other. No. The third blond said, Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it. Very good! said St. Peter. The blond continued. Now, every year, Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we play basket ball for six more months.
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Lol that made me feel better... today I was sick and pulled a hamstring
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WAS I RITE OR WRONG??... I NEED HELP WITH THIS ONE!!!... GIRLS AND GUYS...?

Ok... for starts, Im not shouting in my title... I just need as many opinions as I can get here. So this is whats going on.. I met this girl back in 08. she became my world. She asked me to go exclusive with her after the second date, and I whent for it, I cut off the girls I was talking to or dating and gave her my undevided attention. She seemed to be everything I was looking for, untill I found out she had been playing me, she was not only still talking to a list of guys, but was exctanging nakid photos and sex talk, flirting and even having sex, she even banged a dude she never new in a burger king parking lot. I was crushed when I found out, but was too attatched and could not leave, we whent threw make up break up crap for like a year, I tried meeting new people and everything, nothing worked. To make it worse, whenever I would find out she was cheeting, and I threatened to leave her, she would fly off the handle, and start, slaping, biting, socking scratching, throwing things at me, she even socked me in the bread basket as hard as she could... she has scratched me blood and bitten me blood, all cuz I would tell her I am leaving after finding out she was cheating. Then she lied to her parrents (I found out later) and told them I was the one cheating and abusing her to save face, she even left me for annother man, but then came back after he got annother girl pregnant. She even kept all the gifts and memories she developed with these guys and tried lieing to me about them and flipped out when I would ask her if she realy planned on keeping them (of course I asked that with an attitude... Im trying to be honest), So now she aked me back, just this last vallentines day, so I met up with her, and after having sex I come to find she is not only cheating with me on a man she left me for and cheated on me with, but she is stringing along 3 other guys she cheated on me in the past with... none of them know about eachother... so she half assed got rid of them as I tried to walk out the door... she wanted me to come back and be exclusive with her. So I posted a question on here about this... and needless to say, annonomously, everyone told me I should get away from her... far away, and of course I did not listen. So... tonight, I told her my real feelings and how I cannot be with her any longer... I told her that 4 things would have to happen if she ever wanted me back; 1)- She would have to change her phone number and email. ( the email and phone number she has is how all these guys keep up with her, and she always tries to say they contact her... 2)- She would have to call all of them and come clean with them how she played them and tell them to never contact her again. 3)- She would have to come clean to her family about what realy has happened threw out this last year. 4)- Her family would have to accept us getting back together. Her only response was that those four things are stupid and that her family would find out she "is a little slutt" (her words not mine). She told me to ask any one and that any one would tell me my request in an attempt to start out rite as she would say and build trust is rediculouse. She would rather keep the guys hanging without an explination (or keep it open for her to go back to as she did in the past, after everything cools down with us, she starts cheating again), let her family not know the trueth about us than build things up between us. So... after a long fight, like all day fight, I told her that I wanted nothing to do with her any more... to never contact me again and never show up again. I told her that if it is not in her heart to fix what she distroyed, then it would never be in her heart to be true to me. And then I left and left her. But now I need to know if I was wrong.... please.. tell me If I am in the rite, or wrong and why.
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Wow, nasty girl seriously... Look by people telling you to leave is not gona do you any good obviously. They told you the first time and you did not listen. So if I were to sit here and tell you hey just leave her... Its not gona help you in anyway. Even though that would be the absoulute right thing to do. You really sound like a sweet and honest guy that would give up most for a girl. And yeah, it is hard to find such a guy out there with what you gave up for one girl that "used you, abused you, and now tries to make you the fault of it." You don't need that. Look even if you tell her to take those 4 steps she wont. Let her blaim you for her **** because you do not need her. The only and I mean only thing you can do is find a girl thats going to bring all your happiness back and forget about this nasty girl. Just do you self, and your broken heart a favor and leave... I was in your same exact shoes for 3 years. Except the guy did all of this to me. I finally put my foot down and stood up for my own sake. It was so hard i thought i would never make it through but guess what i did. And i live in such a better world then i did with him... Look if you want more help im here, You can go ahead and Email me... I'll really help you go through this.. I been in your shoes..and i might as well say it not sounding bad, But im probally the only one that would be able to understand you just cuz i went through the same exactttttt thing!!!
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What ELSE to get him for HS graduation?

I've been trying to think of gifts for my boyfriend for his highschool graduation. I'm already in college at the same school he's going to this fall so I was going to make him a basket of logo stuff (tshirts, notebooks, pens, etc.) but I also want to get him something more personal. After all, he is my best friend and we've been together for almost two years. What kind of personal thing (not necessicarily romanitc or anything, just something a gf would give a bf) could I get him? I'm willing to spend up to about $50 but I can't think of anything.....
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What about a gift card for somewhere that he usually shops? Just an idea.
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Cat AND Dog bring in "live OR dead" HOW TO STOP THEM?

Both my calico kitty (1 yr old) & llasa apso bring in baby rabbits, birds, moles, mice etc... How CAN I stop them? I just stepped on a mouse at bottom of stairs & had to VACUUM OUT MY TUB, due to feathers EVERYWHERE! The birds go straight UP the stairwell thinking it's "outside" I guess! This is an EVERYDAY occurrence! When ALIVE I MUST lock dog/cat in rooms, open doors & windows---sometimes this is an ALL-DAY chore! It's really gotten out of hand. I now follow her when she comes in with her announcing "MEW I'm BACK!" :) Please, ANYONE??? Cat would've never gone out, except there's a DOGGIE DOOR! IS THERE ANYWAY 2 stop THIS??? I live in MI & getting COLD, ,so leaving doors etc open is NOT option in bad weather. Thanks for ANY SUGGESTIONS....I"m out of ideas & KNOW these are "GIFTS" from them, but stepping on them in dark is getting OLD(ARGH!) *I didn't KNOW bunnies make a sound UNTIL My b/f yelled for me to bring basket! IT was hiding on stairs!
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Keep your cat inside and stop letting your dog outside unsupervised. DOgs and cats both are predators. APparently yours are quite good predators. There really is no way to stop this behaviour. Even putting bells on cats doesn't really work.
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what do you think of this story begining? honest opinions?

chapter one: Tazeim "what about this?" "No." I have already told my brother that fifty times today. " what about this?" He holds up a rock with dried mud leftover. " No," i Replied as i looked at that disgusting 'treasure', as he calls it. " what about this?" I looked up from my basket of laundry. He was pointing to his chest. For good luck, he wore a pendant that strapped around a brown bag that laid against his scrawny, eight-year-old chest. In it was lucky sand from the beach. I sighed. " No Zavhariah." " oh, Come on Tazeim." He puffed out his lips and his eyes grew, creating the puppy-dog face. " This was from Aunty Miriam." I had to agree, Aunty Miriam gave people gifts that would make you feel guilty if you traded it for something. But this was different. We were moving to a new town. in America. Not Portugal. We had to hide our identities. All of the villagers and caravans had to. " I promise you it will be fun," I tried my best to urge him," Now put it in our trunk. Mami is waiting for us outside. Papi is with Saphire and Finnie." they were the horses that carried our traveling wagon. I could tell he didn't want to, I did not want to leave either. but it was because all of the gypsies are being kicked out of the country. Now we are ready. Now lets start our new lives in a place called Massachusetts.
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I really liked the names and basis is good so far keep up the good work.
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What to give hubby to be for Easter?

This is my fiance and mine 4th Easter together and I don't remember ever getting eachother gifts before for it, not sure why I guess we didn't really bother lol, but anyways we will be getting married the week of Easter, on that Friday, so I guess I feel all lovey dovey and happy and want to get him something this year haha, what is something you get for a husband? I was thinking a little basket or bag full of his fave candies and easter candy/chocolate... and a Tshirt and Button down shirt for the spring maybe? Nothing to expensive, just something to say Happy Easter since it's not a big holiday or nothing... :)
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I don't think you should, just give him a big kiss.. cuz if you will give him a gift you will just make him feel like crap that he didn't get you anything. Besides noone gives gifts on easter besides eggs :)
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WAS I RITE OR WRONG??... I NEED HELP WITH THIS ONE!!!... GIRLS AND GUYS...?

Ok... for starts, Im not shouting in my title... I just need as many opinions as I can get here. So this is whats going on.. I met this girl back in 08. she became my world. She asked me to go exclusive with her after the second date, and I whent for it, I cut off the girls I was talking to or dating and gave her my undevided attention. She seemed to be everything I was looking for, untill I found out she had been playing me, she was not only still talking to a list of guys, but was exctanging nakid photos and sex talk, flirting and even having sex, she even banged a dude she never new in a burger king parking lot. I was crushed when I found out, but was too attatched and could not leave, we whent threw make up break up crap for like a year, I tried meeting new people and everything, nothing worked. To make it worse, whenever I would find out she was cheeting, and I threatened to leave her, she would fly off the handle, and start, slaping, biting, socking scratching, throwing things at me, she even socked me in the bread basket as hard as she could... she has scratched me blood and bitten me blood, all cuz I would tell her I am leaving after finding out she was cheating. Then she lied to her parrents (I found out later) and told them I was the one cheating and abusing her to save face, she even left me for annother man, but then came back after he got annother girl pregnant. She even kept all the gifts and memories she developed with these guys and tried lieing to me about them and flipped out when I would ask her if she realy planned on keeping them (of course I asked that with an attitude... Im trying to be honest), So now she aked me back, just this last vallentines day, so I met up with her, and after having sex I come to find she is not only cheating with me on a man she left me for and cheated on me with, but she is stringing along 3 other guys she cheated on me in the past with... none of them know about eachother... so she half assed got rid of them as I tried to walk out the door... she wanted me to come back and be exclusive with her. So I posted a question on here about this... and needless to say, annonomously, everyone told me I should get away from her... far away, and of course I did not listen. So... tonight, I told her my real feelings and how I cannot be with her any longer... I told her that 4 things would have to happen if she ever wanted me back; 1)- She would have to change her phone number and email. ( the email and phone number she has is how all these guys keep up with her, and she always tries to say they contact her... 2)- She would have to call all of them and come clean with them how she played them and tell them to never contact her again. 3)- She would have to come clean to her family about what realy has happened threw out this last year. 4)- Her family would have to accept us getting back together. Her only response was that those four things are stupid and that her family would find out she "is a little slutt" (her words not mine). She told me to ask any one and that any one would tell me my request in an attempt to start out rite as she would say and build trust is rediculouse. She would rather keep the guys hanging without an explination (or keep it open for her to go back to as she did in the past, after everything cools down with us, she starts cheating again), let her family not know the trueth about us than build things up between us. So... after a long fight, like all day fight, I told her that I wanted nothing to do with her any more... to never contact me again and never show up again. I told her that if it is not in her heart to fix what she distroyed, then it would never be in her heart to be true to me. And then I left and left her. But now I need to know if I was wrong.... please.. tell me If I am in the rite, or wrong and why. 7 hours ago - 4 days left to answer.
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Yeah you're right. You're also crazy if you take her back. She's telling you that she wants you back, but refuses to give up her "fast" lifestyle. She just wants you back on her list of boys. A relationship is nothing without trust. And as much as you might love her, you need to love yourself more. She doesnt deserve you. But if you really want to consider the h*o*e-bag again. Be more demanding and make sure you take it slow, and on your terms. not hers.
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My 2 years girlfriend almost left me for another guy, what should I do now?

I've been in love with this girl for the last 2 years, she is 28 and I am 30, good education, job, income and have been very caring about her and she has been so much in love with me (at least that is what I understood), our only issue was that why I am not proposing to her, I got the ring and told her I have the ring, but I kept delaying proposing for stupid reasons, but I really cared about her wanted her as my wife. After I decided I am ready to propose and we get engaged, I started to notice she is in touch with another guy through txt at the beginning and later they were going out together and were so much emotionally attached. She still tells me she is thinking about us to see if she can come back or leaves me. She wakes up next to me in the morning with his txt msg and so excited, talks to him in our house and goes to trip and ask me not to come, I know it sounds disgusting and I hate myself to keep up doing this, but I am so much afraid of loosing her to him, and I truly love and she was my only friend beside being my girl friend, I mean I could easily talk about anything to her. Finally I spent couple thousands dollars on couple therapy which was just excuse for her that she wanted to try things, but this new guy kept getting more and more into her heart and I kept pushing and begging more and more to have me back. One night I was so tired of my life and drank a whole bottle of vodka with piles of pills and ended up in hospital for a week. Anyway, she still sees the guy and is so excited about him, but she keeps telling me let's give us time to think about things, maybe we can work it out, but waiting for me just means she makes sure she is happy with other guy. now we are supposed not see each other or talk to each other for 2 weeks, but I am pretty sure she spends all her time with him and most probably they have slept together too. But, I can't let her go, It was 2 years of emotional investment for me and she had everything I admire in a girl. All I did was delaying proposing for couple of months, but does that justifies to jump on another guy which is younger than her and doesn't have any outlook to propose to her in next 5 years! what should I do when I know I pushed her back and back by telling her I love her so much and she is my everything and spending money on expensive gifts and trips to have her back, but whatever step I take makes her 10 steps away. I am at breaking point mentally and physically due to starvation and lack of sleep, almost dysfunctional at work and has no motivation to even live any longer. I put all my eggs in one basket and don't know what do to. If she would tell me for 100% that she loves him and wants to be with him could be easier for me to move on, but she keeps giving me false hopes and when I know the details of their relationship I feel sick and I get disgusted from my own weakness. what is the solution for the pain? it is beyond my capacity, I am not sure how long I can carry the pain around and seeing her being happy with this new guy when I did nothing wrong in my relationship and tried my best to fix things that looked like could be improved.
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Hun, I know exactly what your going through. I was in love with this man for two years and we had the best relationship ever and then I found he was cheating on me, and my stupid *** stayed with him. He then cheated the 2nd time and no matter what he did to me, I was so in love with him, I stayed with him and kept telling myself he would change. I use to live in SD and to even get farther away, I moved to Florida! I was with my childhood sweetheart, great relationship, and then the cheater emailed me, told me how much he loves me and miss me and he has changed, found out he was with this new girl and she was pregnant. But that didnt stop me. He told me he loved me and was gonna leave her. So I LEFT the sweetest man in my life for a man who always cheats. When I moved back, he would meet me at night, and said he cant wait to be with me and leave her. In the end, he never did. But I kept telling myself he was mine and he would come back. He needed to, I couldnt live with out him. So I began to drink and drink, I let myself go. And you wanna know what got me out of this trance he put me in... I was listenin to the radio one day and heard "Stay" by Sugarland. Not sure if you like country or know the band, but the song says it all. You dont have to live this way. You might love her and always will, but if shes wanting this other guy, then marraige will never be the same, in her heart, she will be wanting the other man, if not him, another. You sound like such a sweet man, you need to get her out of your mind, out of your mouth, out of everything. This is what I did,> have a night to yourself. Change the locks, so she cant just come in whenever she decides to come back. You will always be taking the first step in mentally kicking her out of your life. Then take all the pictures of her and shred em! Have yourself a good *** cry, listen to that song and tell yourself, you DO deserve someone who wont EVER look else where. Someone who cares so much about you, your the only one on her mind. Someone you can wrap your arms around and feel the whole world :) Its gonna hurt for awhile, it always does. But TRUE love will come. Trust me ;)
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Stumped what to get her for Valentines :/?

I have been dating this girl for the past month. , and have known her for over 4 years. We really seem to be enjoying each others company. Well, Valentines is coming up, and I know I definelty feel comfortable getting her a little something. I dont want the cliche flowers or anything becuase were not that far along by any means, but I think something small and usable would be nice. Maybe like a basket of lotions or something? Also I planned to get her a card. I am bad at this because I am basically wanting to get her something not too big, because I don't think were ready for any big gifts. And I don't want her to feel awkward in case she doesn't get me anything. What do you girls or guys think would be a reasonable selection?
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make here a mix tape(cd) with some of her favorites songs and through in some of yours. no lotion, take her to a movie and get her a fun t-shirt. have fun and just let her know you put thought into it Happy Lovers day !!!
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Advice on Buying Baby stuff? Please Read xx?

Hey Last week I found out Im having a lil Girl Hehe!! So Exciting! Well I held of buying anything till my 20 week scan apart from the early gifts I had been given. So Now I have been buying some bits and Bobs here and there. So far got some clothes and some Johnson's bits etc. As I am going to be moving out when the baby is here, I am trying to get as much as I can each month as along with Baby stuff I need to Buy all my first time bits for my flat/house which I have got quite alot of already but have plenty more to get. My Auntie is visiting this weekend and has offered to buy my moses basket? Is it to early to get? Il be 22 weeks sunday. Also My Nan has offered to buy my pram? When do you get this and did you leave it in the store? Think I will. And Im going to get my cot with my grant I get at 25 weeks. Can you take the Cot Home? Im on about £950 a month which isnt so bad but having to buy so much, I need to get things as I go along! Due end of June! And advice would be great Thanks Chanelle xxx
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Im exactly the same with thinking i need to buy stuff as i go alone if i want to be able to offord everytihng i feel i need or want. No its not to early to get the moses basket if you want it! What you do need to think about is space for storing stuff where you are at the moment and having extra things to move when you do! The cot and pushchair i would leave in the store untill i need them that way they are not getting in your way but say if you move into your new place and want to get everything set up and ready then get them a little earlier than planned! Its all about you hun and at the end of the day what you think is best!! Good luck x
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Which mall would you rather go to to hang out?

I'm going to the mall with my friend, her bf, and his friend. We cant pick which mall. Its more of a hangout then shopping Mall1 7 for All Mankind Abercrombie & Fitch adidas Originals Aeropostale Aldo Shoes American Eagle Outfitters Ann Taylor Ann Taylor Loft Anthropologie Apple Computer ArdenB. Asian Chao Atlanta Police Department Substation AtlanTIX Auntie Anne's Pretzels Aveda Lifestyle Store BabyGap Bailey Banks & Biddle Bakers Banana Republic Bank of America ATM Bare Escentuals Bath & Body Works BCBGMAXAZRIA bebe bebe Sport Betsey Johnson Bloomingdale's Bobby Jones Bostonian Shoe Brooks Brothers Brookstone Burberry Buster Brown BVLGARI Caché Cajun Supreme California Pizza Kitchen Calvin Klein Cartier Champs Sports Chick-fil-A Cinnabon Club Monaco Coach Corner Bakery Cafe Crate & Barrel DASS Salon & Spa Davante David Yurman Diesel Ecco Shoes Ecotage Salon and Spa ED Hardy Express FAO Schwarz in Macy's Farmer's Basket Fashion Tailor Fast Fix Jewelry Repair Florsheim Shoes Foot Locker French Connection Freshens Yogurt fye - For Your Entertainment Game Stop Gap GapKids Gateway Newstand GNC Godiva Chocolatier Great American Cookie Co. Great Steak & Potato Company Great Wraps Guess? Gymboree H. Stockton Atlanta Haagen-Dazs Heel Quik Herzing College Hollister Co. Hovan Gourmet HQ Shoe Shine Icing by Claire's It's About Time J. Crew Jacadi Johnston & Murphy Karen Millen Kate Spade Kenneth Cole Kids Foot Locker Kiehl's Since 1851 L'Occitane Lacoste Lady Foot Locker Landau Lenox Square Management Office LensCrafters Lids Lindt Chocolate Louis Vuitton LUSH MAC Cosmetics Macy's Optical Boutique Macy*s Madewell Man Alive Marmi Mayors Jewelers Metropark Michael Kors Mid America Research Mimi Maternity Miss Sixty / Energie Montblanc Mori Classics Mori Luggage & Gifts Mr. Pretzels MW Tux My Kitchen Nail Pizzazz Nathan's Famous Neiman Marcus Neiman Marcus Cafe Nicole Miller NikeStore Nine West Oakley Panera Bread Papyrus Pottery Barn Pottery Barn Kids Prime Prophecy E Store PUMA Ralph Lauren Restoration Hardware Sakkio Japan Salvatore Ferragamo Savvi Formalwear Sbarro Sephora Solstice Sony Style St. John Boutique Starbucks Coffee Steve Madden Stuart Weitzman Subway Sunglass Hut International Swarovski Crystal Swim & Sport T-Mobile Taco Bell Teavana The Art of Shaving The Body Shop The Forum Athletic Club The Limited The Monogram Shop The Rowdy Store The Tinder Box / Vino 100 The Walking Company Tourneau TOUS Travelex True Religion United Colors of Benetton Up Front Plus Premier Parking Urban Outfitters Victoria's Secret Victoria's Secret Beauty Vidal Sassoon Wet Seal Williams-Sonoma Wolf Camera & Video Zara Mall 2 Abercrombie & Fitch Adrenaline T-Shirts Aldo American Eagle Outfitters Amy's Hallmark Ann Taylor Ann Taylor Loft Anthropologie Apple Store Arden B AT&T Auntie Anne's Aveda Bachrach Bailey Banks & Biddle Baja Bistro Bakers Banana Republic Bare Escentuals Barnie's Coffee Shop Anchor Bath & Body Works BCBGMAXAZRIA bebe BEBE SPORT Betsey Johnson Bloomingdale's Anchor bluemercury Bourbon Street Brighton Collectibles Brooks Brothers Brookstone C&C Market Research Caché Cacique Cathy Jean Cellular Warehouse Cento's Charlotte Russe Cheesecake Factory OutParcel Chick-Fil-A Chico's Claire's (The Icing) Clarks Coach Crabtree & Evelyn D'Scents Fragrances Dairy Queen DASS Salon & Spa Destination Maternity Dillard's Anchor Doctor's Vision Works EB Games Express Express Men Extraordinary Farmer's Basket Fast Fix Jewelry Fiore Foot Locker Franklin Covey Gap Gap Kids Georgia Back Yard GEOX GNC Live Well Godiva Chocolatier Goldfish Goodyear Auto Center Great American Cookie Great Wraps Guess? Guest Services Gymboree® Haagen Dazs hanna Andersson Head Shots Helzberg Hovan Gourmet Hudson Grille Iroff & Son Jewelers It's About Time J. Crew J. Jill Johnston & Murphy Justice (Limited Too) JY Lamis Know Style L'Occitane Lacoste Lane Bryant LensCrafters Limited Lindt Chocolate Lost & Found Lucky Brand Jeans LUSH MAC Cosmetics Macy's Furniture Gallery Macy's Maggiano's Little Italy Malibu Wings Mall Management Office Mammography Center Martin + Osa Metropark Mia & Maxx Mobile Life - Kiosk Mori Luggage & Gifts Nail Premier New York & Co. News/Necessities Nine West Nordstrom Nordstrom Cafe Nordstrom Espresso Bar Orange Julius Panda Express Papyrus Pet Set Picture People Piercing Pagoda Princess Jewelry Radio Shack Red
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... WHAT? if it's just for hanging out, why does it matter what stores there are? edit- sorry, i didn't mean to sound rude or anything. and to answer your question, i'd say mall 1.
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I am going to be sick to my stomach?

To start our wedding budget is 5000.00 yes a low one but that is all we can afford. Well I sat down last night and went over my list of things I still had to buy/book (I already booked the site) and once I figured that out I broke down in tears! Here is what I have and PLEASE tell me what I can cut out/down? Site, Food, Champagne, wine, Sodas, Gazebo flowers & DJ: $2920.24 Jr. Bridesmaid dress with alterations (daughter) $80.00 Flower girl dress (daughter) $30.00 Hair Piece & Bridal Jewelry $90.00 Flowers $550.00 Photographer $1400.00 Grooms suit: $160.00 Minister & Gratuity: $425.00 Guest Book/Flower Girl Basket/Pillow: 40.00 Wedding dress alterations: $200.00 Shoes (Bride, Flower G., Jr. Bridesmaid) $60.00 Brides Hair: $75.00 Make-Up: $50.00 Favors $58.00 Décor for head table: $30.00 Wedding party gifts (4 people): $100.00 Marriage license: $75.00 Clean wedding dress (I bought a used dress) $175.00 Wedding rings $1800.00 Hotel 1 night 2 rooms (wedding is out of town) $325.00 TOTAL: $8643.24 The first line can not be cut down. Our rings we thought if we bought him a basic gold band and me the ring that does not match my ring we could cut out about $400.00 but I am in tears over that. Not because of my ring but because of his. I want to give him the ring he is going to wear his whole life. NOT a cheap ring we will replace when we can afford it. The photographer. I have called 25 photographers in the area and that is the BEST deal I can find. Flowers. That is JUST the boquets and rose petals for the walkway and flower girl. Thats it. I also can not find a better price. Because our wedding party is small there is NO getting around the cost of the gooms suit. HELP! I have been crying over this since last night. We can not come up with the extra money and there is not ANYONE who can help us with the funds.
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Allow me to help madam. -Flowers. Yes, you can find a better price. Order your flowers at your local COSTCO> If you have a memebership or know some one that has a membership, you can save. Most of their wedding packages are around $400 and they have corsages, bridal bouquet, BM bouquet, boutuniers and centerpieces arranged and ready to go: http://www.costco.com/Common/Category.as… -Guest book, pillow and basket. You do NOT need those items. No one ever looks at the guest book. Avoid that expense, it;s not really necesary. Pillow is not needed, the Best man can hold the rings for you, As fas as the baskets, borrow those or mak ethem yourself and save. - Bridal jewelry. The new trend is to have NO jewelry. You can use/borrow a pair of earring that you already have. Necklaces are really not used anymore. Save there. -Hair. DYI. Yes, it;s nice having some one do it for you, but you or a trusty friend can easily help you. My Maid of honor helped me with my hair and everyone thought that I spend hundreded of dollars. Also, check if there is a local cosmetology school in your area, Their prices are lower. -Favors. You can easily do without. Place some wrapped candy on the tables, and that would do. Save. -Head table decor. No one cares or notices it. If you must, use rose petals that will be enough. Now, have you budgeted for wedding cake, invitations, postage??? Good luck EDIT: Wedding dress. If the alterations cost more than the dirty dress, then it's not worth it. $400 is too much for a dress that it's used, dirty and doesn't fit. You can buy a dress that will fit you, new and clean for under $200. Check the david's bridal $99 gown sale. I bought mine online from Davids and it fit me perfectly, no alterations needed. They shipped within 3 days. Here are two websites: http://www.davidsbridal.com/sale_return.… Another one: http://bridalonlinestore.com/Collection/…
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does this sound like fraud to you??? Or suspicious (long -can skip to **)?

If it's too long don't insult me, you can skip to the asterisk part, but don't lecture me if you didn't read it all!!!! -- I tried to order something online during a sale. I would have got £100 worth of free stuff. They cancelled it. Citing "security concerns" This is despite me passing multiple checks ( I will write them out) I phoned up and was told to re-order but I will need to pay full price this time. No discount, the sale is over. I SAY that is highly fishy. It was a clothing site. I signed up like last year, gave an email, and had an account with the site. I orderd last year, all okay. They sent me an email as telling me this one was cancelled due to a problem with security. When I asked what, I was told it was about my phone number. I told them I do not have one, I do not own a phone or have one registered to me (true). So they could not check my phone number even if they wanted to. On the site it asked for one and I put in something like 1111222 just to get past the form as I ALWAYS DO. As you know, we shouldn't give out our # willy nilly anyway, as they datamine it. They have no right to my phone number anyway..... Moving on.. so.. Here are the checks etc in place.... I added stuff to my basket, got to the payment page, signed into my online account with an email and password got to the final payment page entered my Visa card details, #, expiry date etc. Security # on back. MY BANK and the site have a FRAUD PREVENTION security check set up, last year I signed up to that too. I had to enter a password that I made earlier with Visa, which meant that it is nigh impossible for anyone to use my card, as they would also need to know this password. I passed it, success! Congrats, email reciept sent. We are processing your order.... It gets charged when it ships, but before it shipped, I got the email saying it was cancelled, around the time the sale ended. So please not I had not been charged and it was not a failure of no funds in my account etc. It was their internal system that refused it. So, despite the phone number 'problem' ************** I was getting the goods sent to MY NAME, the name that's on the card. To MY HOUSE, the address that's registered to the card. Sent to the name and address that is on my account with the website. So, on what planet would a fraudster have my card, my password, know I was signed up to X website, order a bunch of things, send it to the person who's name is on the card, send it to their address.. by registered mail... to be signed for... leaving a record. ..what were they going to do, hide in a bush and attack the delivery man when it arrived at MY house to surprise ME with gifts for myself?? ************* Am I right in thinking they are trying to rip me off? And if so, is there anything I can do to make them answer for it? Or at least call them out on their behaviour? I think Verified By Visa would be very interested to know that apparently said webshop do not think that their verification is quite strict enough, and one must apparently have a certain phone number to make an order. I was told also that, "this phone number has been used for orders in the same area in the past, so it was flagged as a potential risk" I said, WOULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN *MY* LAST ORDER? and the guy on the phone just said "i don't know" but it was flagged. "You may have slipped through the cracks the last time but it was noticed this time and your order was legitimately cancelled, there's nothing we can do. We take the security of our customers BLAH BLAH patronizing BS from a sheet" PLEASE don't get me wrong, I am asking because of these websites treating customers like *****. Can anything be done to at least get some SENSE out of them??? --------------------------------------…
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The only way we or you can be sure if they are trying to get out of the discount is to place the order again with the same security answers that you gave first time and see if the order goes through. If it does, then I would guess that they are screwing you and if I were you, would phone to complain and demand the discount and if they refuse, cancel the order and refuse to use them again. If it still doesn't go through, then there is a problem and I would call the company and find out exactly what it is. As for the telephone number, the only way they can confirm the address is via the telephone number and not the address on your bank account as they are not able to get that. Stupid huh? Yes but due to Data protection act on your bank account the banks can't confirm addresses. Good luck. KD PS Why the thumbs down? This is the only option you have to find out why they declined your order - Oh I know, nobody seems to have the single track mind you have, on this question or this question you asked the other day.
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I am having routine surgery early tomorrow morning after having experienced heart failure three weeks ago ....?

.... during same (aborted) surgery I have been a basket case since then - very worried but the team has given me the respect of long meetings with a cardiologist and two anesthesiologists - also my own Doc and the surgeon spent a lot of time with me explaining how careful they will be and basically being very supportive given my grumpy and paranoid demeanour Given that the procedure is OK my question is: Should I send a big bunch of flowers to their dept office a day or so after i am discharged addressed to linda who had done most of the groundwork (very kind and patient lady given she is so freaking busy) and addressing them also to the who surgical team? Many years ago my mother told me clinicians didn't like gifts - is this true?
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I think that would be a very lovely gesture on your part, something most people don't do. You might also consider a box of candy for the nursing staff who took care of you - for EACH shift. I did that when my brother was hospitalized after being hit by a car. They really appreciated that, especially the third shift, whom everybody forgets. You will always be remembered for your kindness. God bless you, my friend. Those of us who pray will definitely be praying for you. Those who don't will be wishing you well. As for the rest - f*ck 'em. Come back soon and tell us you're better than new. Luvya.
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my wife has turned my kids against me and its destroying me ,?

im in the early stages of divorce and living at home still as i have no where else to live , my kids are 19 , 17 , & 13 yrs . i have tried to be as amicable as possible i have been sleeping on the settee every night , and keeping out of the way . i talk to the kids but they always say the same thing "its your fault dad " i heve sat them down individually to explain that its Both our fault and not theres . how ever when they are alone with me its all ok ish , as soon as mum is there they side with her . because i sleep in the front room and my wife has our bedroom she has taken most of my clothes and put them in bin liners and chucked them in the conservatory , everytime i place my washing in the linin basket she takes them out and throws them on to the floor . she has even taken down pictures in the front room that have me in them , along with any thing that remines her of me . dont get me wrong i understand way she does this she is trying to wipe / erase me out of her life . i ask her could i sleep for one night in our bed while one of my daughters was not coming home and she refused , so i accepted that . this happens All the time and i have been reasonable and gone along with that . last week end she was going out and there was a spare bed in my daughters room (she is 19 yrs and shares with her sister so i did not want to sleep in there ) so i told her early on that evening i was going to sleep in our bed for ONE night only because my back was aching. when i went to go into the bed she grabbed me from behind pulled me violently ripping my shirt , then when i got level with the top of the stairs gave me a push . she made my son called the police and my wife started ridiculing me, when the police arrived and the situation explained they said i could have her arrested for assault .I decided it was best not to pursue it as this in my view was not an option because it would of been horrible to see my sons face as his mum was led out of our house by the police. the police where great in offering me support as it was so obvious what had gone on so, i told them i would stay at a friends house that evening to defuse the situation . they told my wife what my decision was and how fortunate she was that i did nit press charges .( that would of been pointless anyway . ) whan i returned the next day the kids had all turned against me saying its all my fault , and have not been talking to me , i know they will come around at some point but its so upsetting that they can not see how they are being used as a tool . she has been buying them all sorts of gifts , being over the top and now i feel terrible . she is laughing and smiling in my face when we haveeye contact. i see this as an atempt to get me to argue , but i wont , you guys may not be able to give me the right advise as what i can do , but i will say typing this out has made me feel slightly better as i dont have many people to talk to .
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What she is doing is both simple and horrible - she's trying to make you so miserable that you leave. My question would be have either of you thought to tackle what ever the problem was that led to this happening in the first place?
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I want my wedding to be beautiful?

I dont want to miss anything, like the little details? Pastor Place Tables Chairs Table Cloths China Glassware Tableware Invitations Save the dates Menu Program Napkins Chamange Flutes Table Cards Name Place Cards Menu Vase Mirror Vase Red & White Roses for Vase Red & White Gems for Vase Tealight Candle Holders (Favors & Decoration) Tealights Personal Shot Glasses (Favors) Food Drinks Cake Cake Topper Cake Server & Champange Toasters Wedding Dress Wedding Shoes Wedding Tiara Wedding Manicure Red & Blue Bouquet White Bouquets for Bridesmaids White Pin on flowers for Men Flower basket, Ring Pillow, GuestBook, Pen, Garter Ring Red Rose Petals Floral Aisle Runner Red Balloons White Balloons Thank you gifts. That is my list, have I got everything?
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Music? Limo/transportation? Photographer/Videographer? um....groom? You seem to have a very detailed list for the day, but there's a lot leading up to that. Don't burden yourself with the china and glassware; your venue or caterer will provide that.
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What to buy my boss for christmas that doesn't look cheap? ?

My boss and I are the only people in the office and he is the best boss I could ask for BUT he doesn't do anything like for a hobby that is easy to buy for.. he doesn't golf, he isn't a sports guy or car guy.. he just separated from his wife and bought a house but I think that is inappropriate to buy something for his house. I am stuck. He always gets me really nice gifts, last year for christmas I got an Ipod with lots of extras and $500 bonus and I got him a wine basket. I don't want to get him something that looks cheap but I don't want to spend a fortune either..
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get him a good bottle of V.S.O.P. Hennessy Irish Cognac Courvoisier Brandy $40 -$150 depending on the age
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Is bush's $700 billion bailout a sweetheart deal for Wall Street hastily passed by Congress without debate?

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/218341.php There will be a bums rush just like when Bush tried to pressure Congress into passing the Protect America Act. They will wait until right before the election and try and jam the Democratic party up and say that if they do nothing then we are all going to Hell in a hand basket. There will be nothing good about this plan unless you are a big banking and insurance CEO. What a surprise! ... We're in a crisis which gives the Bush Administration an opportunity to push legislation through Congress with little or no debate. In six months from now, how many "little surprises" are we going to find out about? Gifts to the industry or Bush Administration that got inserted into a bill that was approved without being read -- let alone, thoroughly examined -- by most members of Congress. I agree something needs to be done but do we really trust the people that brought us this mess to develop an optimal solution?
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Yes. Email your congressman that this is unacceptable, and that nothing that requires no oversight and forbids court review would be acceptable, especially not something that adds even more in costs.
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Tracy Mcgrady has no heart!?

I don't know about you,but don't you get the feeling he's already thinking of next year?Now,granted,he's not in the same league as say,Kobe bryant or Tim Duncin.Its clear that the reason he can't take over games when it matters is because he cant't.He likes to talk about how "gifted he is,but when the bright lights are on he's o.k. Not great,just o.k. You say,well, what about the double teams or the triple teams?Well,let me ask you.Why doesn't he beat the double team by slicing threw the defense or breaking towards the basket?People keep calling him a superstar,but really,what has he done?He's never even gone past the first round of the playoffs!he can't shoot well from long range.And his free throw shooting is awful!He sits up there in the podium talking about how he was sooooo tired!Yeah,so was everybody else!He's getting 20 million a year.When the forth quarter rolls in,you are supposed to do what you are getting paid to do!Her's a concept,earn it!
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Has no heart? I definitely agree. His face tells it all. I mean when you look at the bench, pretty much all their players applauds whenever their teammate gets a basket. But him, he barely does anything. He has this look on his face that gives it away. The "Doesnt give a damn about anything look". He is cocky though. But you said he is not in the same league as Kobe Bryant or Tim Duncan. I would definitely have to disagree. You know why Kobe gets 30 + points a game, Its because he cares about his stats. This Tracy Mcgrady guy could care less even if he only got 2 points in a game as long as they get the W. He has the potential to be great but its only on few circumstances that he had shown it. If you had been watching him play for a long time, you would have noticed it by now that he gets more numbers away rather than of home. He does take over games but if your shooting was bad from the start then the best idea is to give the ball to the hottest hand on the court and he knows that. He is great but hes lazy, cocky , and heartless and that definitely wont make him the best of all time. Yao Ming is not around. They say that the Houston rockets are just a bunch of nobodys and yet they still managed to get 22 wins in a row. Its true of course. Tracy Mc Grady is alone over there. Although they have Shane Battier, Yao Ming is out and they are really paying for it drastically. This is not the same Utah team they faced last year. This is a much stronger Utah and they are a much weaker Houston without Yao Ming but I think they will still get a win in this series. Ive a strong feeling about it. They will loose this series of course
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Valentine's Day...what do men REALLY want?

I have a VERY romantic boyfriend who goes above and beyond every chance he gets. I'd like to something nice for him in return so he feels special/loved. His business he started was featured in a Journal -- I bought a copy of the article to be matted and framed for him. I've also just started to scrapbook. I've decided to make my first page about "us" with pictures, memories, and reasons why I love him. I bought a Valentine's basket and was going to fill it with a few candies, lingerie, and maybe some massage oil. (Forgive me for TMI- but it's my time of the month that weekend -- so the "sexy" gifts may not come into play.) But I thought I could massage/pamper him for a night. Do you think this is thoughtful/romantic enough? Any other ideas or ways to present it?
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Sounds great. Rreally he wants you and the effort sounds great. As for your basket and the time. Add one more gift...12 cards that have 'how do I love you' on one side and something extra special on the back plus a few 'any way you want'. BC
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I think my husband is married to someone else while married to me ,what do I do?

I think my husband is married to someone from india while he is still married to me . I see him with pictures of this woman in a white looks like a wedding gown, and he is in a white indian garment that looks like it is from her culture. He carries pictures of her panties and a Picture of her in bikini swimsuit in his work bag. Now this man never bought me anything nice, we never had a wedding, never took me any where nice for my birthday, New Years Eve, or for anniversaries. He always told me the kids come first. Everyone came first over me for 30 years. When we had kids I had to put them in a laundry basket cause we couldnt afford couldn't crib becasue we were both in college. Now he runs to this woman buys her gifts etc. I see the invoices.Came in with a new car last month. He comes from a bad family. The parents are dead and the siblings ( 3) are all drug addicts.The extended family want nothing to do with him. They are very cruel people.I put up with them for 30 yrs becasue I thought It was what a wife is suppose to do honestly. I think he has really taken advantage of me in ways that I cant see or understand. I put up with him for 30 yrs and I really dont understand why he treats me so badly, Im not a bad person. I never caused him striff, I give him money to help with the bills when all he tells me is it is never enough,I never asked him for anything cause he has a fit if I do and it scares me. Anyway I found these pictures of both of them in white wedding clothing looks like. Does anyone know of any ceremony like this? How can he hide that? What should I do to find out? I have a lawyer. My husband threatens me telling me " keep diggin and you will get what you deserve I promise you". Is this a threat? Help ! I just dont understand how this woman can go along with him. He must be telling her massive lies. I want to call her and tell her but I dont think she will believe me either.
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get rid of his *** as soon as possible >.< i hate peole who cheat
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Buying 150 Hershey Bars, Now or Later?

On December 18, I am going to be giving out about 150 Milk Chocolate Hershey's Bars to friends for Christmas at school. It's my way of sharing the Christmas love without having to spend too much. The past two years, I've bought the cars two days or so before I give them out. This year, I am buying more actual gifts (like giftcards and such), so I want to get the Hershey Bars (I buy the 6 packs) bought and out of the way so I can see how much more I need for close friends. My question is: does it matter when I buy them? Aren't they vacuumed sealed? Won't they be fine in 19 days or so? Plus, won't it be OK to leave them outside on the top of my refrigerator? Or even inside? They will either be sitting in Target or sitting in my house. Is there a difference? Basically: 1. Would anything regarding the quality of the Hershey Bars happen if I bought them now? 2. Should I keep them in the refrigerator or on top? I ask number two because we still have a basket of candy left from Halloween, and there are the mini Hershey bars and they've been sitting in my kitchen and I feel they taste awesome when I eat them a month later.
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they should last far longer than 19 odd days, so i say go ahead and buy them early if it make it easier for you. and 2, shouldn't matter really unless where u leave them is quite hot, in which case in the fridge they must go, if unsure play it safe and stick em in the fridge anyway it won't harm them any
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Mentally speaking, what the hell is wrong with me?

I used to self medicate this with DXM, and have given it up long ago due to the inevitable dead-end-road I was heading for. I must say, I have a decent life. I have a college degree, a great paying job, and a wife and step son that are the greatest gifts of all. My wife tells me that I have "changed", and though I was skeptical at first, I have noticed that I become extremely introverted at home. I have such a short attention span when we're together...eyes darting, mind wandering, unable to hold conversations to hardly any degree, easily irritated...all of this to the extent of feeling physically exhausted and falling asleep/passing out. My happiness in life has all but disappeared, most notably with my new job. It's a job right down my lane, and pays more than I've ever earned, with basically no supervision. I often wonder if I am addicted to chaos...my favorite jobs were the worst paying and least rewarding...I used to dedicate about 60 hours per week to an insurance company for $500 per week...now 45 hours per week gets me $1100. However, the happiest time in the recent years has been when I was fired from a job, received unemployment, and stayed home (with my wife) for a couple months. This, of course, is not a permanent way of life, but I'm just trying to see if anyone has insight into my fruit basket of a life.
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I think you answered your own question. "addicted to chaos" your happiest times seem to be when you are in a chaotic state. Make your own positive chaos, You didn't say how old your new son is, but rough housing and playing around outside with him can bring you some chaos. Sons and chaos go hand in hand. You also should think about seeing you doctor and explaining these changes to him. I have an anxiety disorder that is so difficult to deal with until an emergency happens and then I am the only one that can think fast and clear enough to know what to do. Mentally you could have a touch of ADHD, might be the start of depression.
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My future-mother-in-law is OVERLY invovled in our wedding?

Okay, so I appreciate my future mother in law taking an interest in my wedding but it's getting a little bit out of hand. How do I deal with this? Just the other night she tried to get all of my bridesmaids and groomsmen to buy a bottle of liquor to make up a basket to raffle off at our wedding social -- which they can't afford, because they are paying for - the bridesmaid dresses/tuxes - travelling expenses to our wedding as they don't all live in the same town - wedding gifts Then she asked me if I wanted to create a wedding "newsletter" that we'd hand out to our guests. She used it at her wedding. No offense to her it might have matched her wedding, which was a casual out-door one, but it doesn't match ours, which is a Church wedding and then a very classy reception. I told her it doesn't match our wedding but thanks for the idea anyway. I feel bad having to keep saying no to her ideas but they're just not plausible or don't fit with what my fiance and I want for our wedding. Is she going to get offended when I keep saying no? Don't get me wrong, if she has a good idea I'll take her up on it, but our tastes seem very different.
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I think she's trying to find ways to be involved and maybe even trying to re-live her own wedding through you. Unfortunately, it's not always the right way. It's one thing to approach you with suggestions, but it's another to try to convice your bridal party to do things. You seem like you've been polite about all of it so far, but I suggest that your fiance talk to her.
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