I've been in love with this girl for the last 2 years, she is 28 and I am 30, good education, job, income and have been very caring about her and she has been so much in love with me (at least that is what I understood), our only issue was that why I am not proposing to her, I got the ring and told her I have the ring, but I kept delaying proposing for stupid reasons, but I really cared about her wanted her as my wife. After I decided I am ready to propose and we get engaged, I started to notice she is in touch with another guy through txt at the beginning and later they were going out together and were so much emotionally attached. She still tells me she is thinking about us to see if she can come back or leaves me. She wakes up next to me in the morning with his txt msg and so excited, talks to him in our house and goes to trip and ask me not to come, I know it sounds disgusting and I hate myself to keep up doing this, but I am so much afraid of loosing her to him, and I truly love and she was my only friend beside being my girl friend, I mean I could easily talk about anything to her. Finally I spent couple thousands dollars on couple therapy which was just excuse for her that she wanted to try things, but this new guy kept getting more and more into her heart and I kept pushing and begging more and more to have me back. One night I was so tired of my life and drank a whole bottle of vodka with piles of pills and ended up in hospital for a week. Anyway, she still sees the guy and is so excited about him, but she keeps telling me let's give us time to think about things, maybe we can work it out, but waiting for me just means she makes sure she is happy with other guy. now we are supposed not see each other or talk to each other for 2 weeks, but I am pretty sure she spends all her time with him and most probably they have slept together too. But, I can't let her go, It was 2 years of emotional investment for me and she had everything I admire in a girl. All I did was delaying proposing for couple of months, but does that justifies to jump on another guy which is younger than her and doesn't have any outlook to propose to her in next 5 years! what should I do when I know I pushed her back and back by telling her I love her so much and she is my everything and spending money on expensive gifts and trips to have her back, but whatever step I take makes her 10 steps away. I am at breaking point mentally and physically due to starvation and lack of sleep, almost dysfunctional at work and has no motivation to even live any longer. I put all my eggs in one basket and don't know what do to. If she would tell me for 100% that she loves him and wants to be with him could be easier for me to move on, but she keeps giving me false hopes and when I know the details of their relationship I feel sick and I get disgusted from my own weakness. what is the solution for the pain? it is beyond my capacity, I am not sure how long I can carry the pain around and seeing her being happy with this new guy when I did nothing wrong in my relationship and tried my best to fix things that looked like could be improved.
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Hun, I know exactly what your going through. I was in love with this man for two years and we had the best relationship ever and then I found he was cheating on me, and my stupid *** stayed with him. He then cheated the 2nd time and no matter what he did to me, I was so in love with him, I stayed with him and kept telling myself he would change. I use to live in SD and to even get farther away, I moved to Florida! I was with my childhood sweetheart, great relationship, and then the cheater emailed me, told me how much he loves me and miss me and he has changed, found out he was with this new girl and she was pregnant. But that didnt stop me. He told me he loved me and was gonna leave her. So I LEFT the sweetest man in my life for a man who always cheats. When I moved back, he would meet me at night, and said he cant wait to be with me and leave her. In the end, he never did. But I kept telling myself he was mine and he would come back. He needed to, I couldnt live with out him. So I began to drink and drink, I let myself go. And you wanna know what got me out of this trance he put me in... I was listenin to the radio one day and heard "Stay" by Sugarland. Not sure if you like country or know the band, but the song says it all. You dont have to live this way. You might love her and always will, but if shes wanting this other guy, then marraige will never be the same, in her heart, she will be wanting the other man, if not him, another. You sound like such a sweet man, you need to get her out of your mind, out of your mouth, out of everything. This is what I did,> have a night to yourself. Change the locks, so she cant just come in whenever she decides to come back. You will always be taking the first step in mentally kicking her out of your life. Then take all the pictures of her and shred em! Have yourself a good *** cry, listen to that song and tell yourself, you DO deserve someone who wont EVER look else where. Someone who cares so much about you, your the only one on her mind. Someone you can wrap your arms around and feel the whole world :) Its gonna hurt for awhile, it always does. But TRUE love will come. Trust me ;)
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