Here's the deal: i always got along great with my fiance's mother. I honestly tried to be fair with her, considerate and when we had our son I even let her come in and see him be born because she was standing in the hall and i know she felt left out. On the holidays i was always the one to pick out her gift; i'm crafty, so i usually put together gift baskets for her. i called her and asked her regularly if she'd like to see her grandson, but she is always busy..working and running errands, so she never saw him more than three or four times a month. On my son' s first birthday she exploded on my mother, saying i was rude, immature, petty, etc and that i keep her away from her grandson. when my mom told me this, i was hurt and shocked, but i held my tongue out of respect for my partner. however, i did tell hm later, but he never even talked to her about it. needles to say, he just got worse; i tried calling her to straighten things out, but she wouldn't answer. finally, she called me and said some pretty hateful things, so i told her to stay out of my life and i also told her she wouldn't see our son again until she could treat me with more respect. my fiance agrees with me, but he's an avoider and still hasn't talked to her about it. before this their relationship wasn't that great; he didn't talk to her for FOUR years, but yet she blames me and claims that i keep her away from her grandson. i know she's just jealous because my son is more attached to my mom, but my mom is his primary caregiver when we're at work. i would have loved for his other grandma to be more involved, but he was never around. but now, i look like the bad guy to all of his family i'm sure, and my fiance still isn't opening his mouth and telling my side for me. it really hurts. he just doesn't like conflict, but i feel like he should stick up for me. i hate that things are this way, but i don't know how to fix it? we're getting married this summer and i would like to talk to her before then, but she is so irrational that she just yells at me if i call. would you be upset if your fiance refused to stand up to his mother? why is she acting this way? i am honestly still shocked because it came out of nowhere! should i try to call again? write her a letter or just consider her out of my life?
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Your future mother in-law is jealous of the relationship your son has with your mother This is common..human nature For some reason, she may be jealous of you ! Are there any future sister-in laws in this picture? Are these women hard working decent family orientated women with good men in their lives? If they are not & you are..she wishes they were like you The caregiver gets much love Is this your mother- in-laws only (youngest)grandchild? Do not talk negative about this..Welcome to the club, there are many of us out here (me too) Be sweet, kind, patient, understanding & try to reel her in slowly into her grandson's life. A daughter's child is sometimes closer& special to the daughters mother Let baby get to know his grandmother slowly ,invite her over weekends for dinner..alone This will take time..work with your man to make this a successful transition Love is beautiful..especially grand kids love Good luck
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