Is sending flowers to the family appropriate? Gift baskets of food? Sympathy cards? I don't live anywhere near them, so I can't run over and put a wreath on the grave or give an Imam money to make prayers. What would be the polite and helpful thing to do? (The person who died is my daughter in law's dad.
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I think more than sympathy to the family, they would prefer your prayers for the deceased. Call one of the family members and speak to them, to ease their pain and send your salaam and dua's. If you don't want to call them then send them a card, maybe include a Quranic verse that will help them to understand and feel better about the death. Edit: Ease and hardship are the feathers that give strength to the wings of your faith, so that your heart and your innermost being can use them to fly to the door of your lord, Allah. "Truly in the heart there is a void that cannot be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that cannot be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that cannot be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness." - Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyya Death is not the final end, but a gateway to a different kind of life If Allah brought you to it, he will bring you through it. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day and does good, they have their reward with their Lord." Qur'an 2 ; 62 Their reward at their Lord is the gardens of Eden with flowing streams, wherein they abide forever. GOD is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him. Such is the reward for those who reverence their Lord. [98:8]
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