Sympathy gift and funeral etiquette?

Please forgive my lack of tact/knowledge in this area. I've never had to deal with this situation before, and I really need advice. Someone from our church recently lost a spouse. We're invited to the visitation and the service. I don't know anything about proper etiquette in terms of sympathy gifts/flowers/food, etc. The death occurred yesterday, the visitation is tomorrow, and the service is on Thursday, so I don't have much time to figure this out. The family is in mourning, and to my knowledge no one has heard yet whether they need help preparing meals or have requested charitable donations in lieu of flowers or anything in that regard. I'd like to do someone to show my acknowledgment of the family's pain and to help them in any way I can. Please tell me what is appropriate. Do I send gifts to the funeral home or to the family's home? Is it inappropriate to bring a gift to the visitation tomorrow? I'd rather not send flowers - something more helpful, like maybe a food basket. I'd really like to cook for them if I can, but I just don't know what to do. I've never attended a visitation in my adult life - please let me know when/how/where it is appropriate to send something. Btw, this is a protestant, Christian church, family and service. Thank you very much.
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You don't bring a gift to the funeral home. You just show up, sign the guest register (so they can send out thank-you cards later), speak with the relatives, and if you feel comfortable, you can view the body. You should send a sympathy card right away addressed to the people's home, not the funeral home. As far as food and cooking for them, it depends how close you are to them. If you are very close, you can cook them a dish and bring it over. I think the best thing to do would be: send a card, show up at the funeral home.
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