Sympathy gift and funeral etiquette?

Please forgive my lack of tact/knowledge in this area. I've never had to deal with this situation before, and I really need advice. Someone from our church recently lost a spouse. We're invited to the visitation and the service. I don't know anything about proper etiquette in terms of sympathy gifts/flowers/food, etc. The death occurred yesterday, the visitation is tomorrow, and the service is on Thursday, so I don't have much time to figure this out. The family is in mourning, and to my knowledge no one has heard yet whether they need help preparing meals or have requested charitable donations in lieu of flowers or anything in that regard. I'd like to do someone to show my acknowledgment of the family's pain and to help them in any way I can. Please tell me what is appropriate. Do I send gifts to the funeral home or to the family's home? Is it inappropriate to bring a gift to the visitation tomorrow? I'd rather not send flowers - something more helpful, like maybe a food basket. I'd really like to cook for them if I can, but I just don't know what to do. I've never attended a visitation in my adult life - please let me know when/how/where it is appropriate to send something. Btw, this is a protestant, Christian church, family and service. Thank you very much.
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"Gifts" are inappropriate. Talk to the pastor since he'd probably know whether the family needs anything including financial help. If a collection is being done, he would probably know about it and maybe is the person collecting (usually the family has other things to deal with). If the family is in need of finacial help, they probably don't want everyone handing them money (they still have pride) but accepting a collection the church has taken up feels less desperate. Ask him if he knows whether the family needs food brought to their house (these days, many people would rather not have people dropping by if you weren't already close the family, not even for the "right" reasons). Even if you are not a member of their church, the pastor should be able to give you some good advice.
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