I am the youngest of six kids, with a signifigant gap between the first five and myself. Both of my parents passed away prior to my turning 20, so my brothers and sisters have always been an important part of my life. We are all very close, although admittedly most of the work in keeping the relationship close comes from me since I moved several states away from the family. Recently, I found out my oldest brother (who I am extremely close to) is seriously ill. His wife asked me to contact the other siblings and to let everyone know that for right now, my brother simply is not ready to talk to anyone and wants as little attention drawn to the illness as possible. I called the others and passed along all the info. One of the other siblings took it upon himself to send a gift basket to the ill brother as a way to offer support, even though I made it clear that this was not wanted. He signed my name to the basket. When I found out, I was very upset and worried how my oldest brother
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In all honesty, if you have an older sibling who is seriously ill, I wonder why everyone is wasting time and energy arguing over a gift basket. It's done, it's over. Arguing isn't going to change that. Your brother probably didn't want a lot of attention drawn to the illness right now because he's just trying to learn to deal with it himself. Ok. Your brother's wife's wishes should have been respected, but I doubt that a gift basket is the end of the world. Talk to your brother's wife and see how he reacted to it. If it bothered him, you can tell her that it was sent out of love from your other sibling and no harm was meant. If it didn't bother him, then there's been much ado about nothing. Tell her to give your love to your brother and to let you know when you can call or visit.
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