Is it cruel to not give my daughter anything to teach responsibility?

I have a 9 year old who is absolutely irresponsible with all her belongings. She doesn't care if she loses her toys, she doesn't care if she leaves her jacket on the bus, etc. We have tried grounding her, making her pay to replace things, etc. Nothing works. I have tried helping her by showing her how to clean her room. I have tried reminding her when she leaves things out. The kicker was when I went in her room and found all her Ninetendo DS game cartridges scattered all over the floor. This is a gift she received from her Grandmother for Christmas. After picking them up, several were missing. She had no idea what she had done with them. I am at the point now where I don't want to give her ANYTHING anymore. I mean no more new clothes, no more birthday gifts, no more easter baskets. Not until she starts taking care of what she has now. I explained to my Mother that we would not be doing anything for her for Valentine's Day or Easter this year. My mom lost it on me telling me that would be cruel because we are going to get things for our older daughter. I tried to explain that my daughter doesn't value anything because we keep just buying her more but my older daughter (she's 10) is responsible with her belongings. Do you think that it would be cruel to just not get anything for my daughter for awhile until she starts showing us that she is going to be more responsible?
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I think you're on the right track. You should teach her the value of having these things, and you should explain to her that some people aren't as lucky as she is. I think that you should tell her that people work to get her these things that she treats so poorly. If she wants something from now on, make her work for it (age-appropriate, of course). That ought to teach her the value of working hard and getting something in return for it. I think your mother is being a little unfair to you and your girls. What you're thinking about doing doing is fair, because it sets a good example for the young one. The older one takes care of her things, so she is responsible enough for more. Try it for a couple of holidays and see what happens.
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